Have you ever been bullied because of your flawed skin? Had kids refuse to let you play on the swings? Were you the outcast amongst your friend groups? It’s an awful feeling that leaves you insecure and lonely.
For as long as I can remember, I’ve had chickenpox-like spots on my body; my arms and legs only, thank God. I had a case of chickenpox and the spots stayed, marking me like a leper. This was particularly worrisome for my parents and they spent a lot of time and resources trying to find a solution.
I can vividly recall the sterile smell of the hospitals, the patterned walls of the demartologist's office, the mechanical sounds of people and machines, the dreadful sight of those needles that endlessly pricked my veins, stealing my blood. Tests, they called it. To find out what was wrong with me. My fear of needles was birthed sitting in those stiff examining chairs, my mom holding my head away as blood was drawn. At some point, I was tired. I had accepted my fate. I’d never have perfect skin like the other kids at school.
It didn’t just stop at dermatologists or hospital visits. Everyone had an idea of something their distantly related cousin had tried in a similar situation and worked. Drugs, ointments, herbs, you name it. We eagerly tried everything and were disappointed each time. I felt like Frankenstein and all those people were low-budget Dr. Victor.
My flawed skin would have been easier to deal with if I wasn’t getting bullied for it at school. Young kids are brutal. Their minds aren’t open or willing to accept the concept of something different. So, they react violently. I’m probably being a tad dramatic but back then, that was the bane of my existence. The small group of friends I had, I cherished. The ones that bullied me, I fought back. I was always getting into fights back then. It got so bad, my brothers had to teach me self-defense skills.
There is always a silver lining in every bad situation if you look hard enough. One of the fondest memories I had was my mom making me soap herself to help fade the spots. I loved them because they left my skin feeling smooth and always smelled so nice, like freshly squeezed lemons and chilled apple juice. In a house full of boys, we didn’t get a lot of girl-time.
When I turned 12, we all unanimously decided to leave my skin alone. The spots weren’t as bad as they used to be and I was building up my self-esteem because the people around me didn’t make me feel so self-conscious. Leaving my skin alone was the best thing I ever did for it.
I started university when I was 16. Suddenly, I was thrown into a self-conscious war zone. I was surrounded by so many beautiful people and guess the one thing they all had in common? That’s right. Amazing skin. Smooth, milky please-touch-skin. Bye-bye confident Queen, hello suppressed insecurities. Oh, this was bad. I went back to my mom and convinced her to make me her miraculous soaps. She made a batch of two and boy, did they work wonders. I swear, that woman’s got the Midas touch, no cap.
I started investing in local black soaps. I’ve always loved black natural soaps. Those lemon and honey ones that come in little containers. Just anything natural, because I had developed a phobia from all those ‘clinical trials’ of days of future past (X-Men reference, I had to). Suddenly my skin was doing amazing. I wasn’t even using makeup, I was that self-assured. ‘Team natural’. I could start over here with no judgments. It was the start of a new beginning for me.
I have the most unstable and sensitive skin of anyone I know, so I’m extremely careful with what goes into it. I avoid ‘toning’, ‘brightening’ products. I tried Dudu Osun because of my love for black soaps, and it took a year to recover from that. Never again shaytan. I’ve finally found my niche though. St. Ives bodyworks; body washes, body lotions, scrubs, etc. I mix it up with Nivea, because it contains sunscreen, for my face. My skincare routine typically involves an inconsistent bi-weekly exfoliating, morning and nightly cleansing and moisturizing, and a few others I can’t remember because…again, inconsistent. I’ll share a few tips I picked up a few years ago in my deep research;
1. Always wash your face with warm water to open up the pores and end it with cool water to close up the pores.
2. Keep your hands away from your face at all times, they’re usually dirty. If you must, use the back of your palm.
3. Separate sponges for your face and body. I recommend a facial cleanser, it aids in blood circulation which improves the skin.
I hope I maintain my current clear skin. But if I don’t, that’s fine too. If you have gone through or are going through something similar, I hope you realise you're not defined by your skin. You are so much more.
Intriguing!!
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